(Left) Karena Gordon-Smith comes back from therapy and is greeted by Legend at the front door on Dec. 2, 2023 in Rochester, N.Y. “When I walk through the door and see him so excited to see me, it always makes my day” says Karena. “There’s just nothing like it.” (Right) The assortment of prescribed mental health medication that Karena keeps in her bedside drawer.

Karena grew up in an unstable household. With both parents in active addiction and a bipolar misdiagnosis and treatment that would permanently alter her brain, she didn’t know what a stable family looked like. She grew up with her grandparent’s full time and seeing her mom on the weekends. Karena recalls that “while I knew that they love me, and I was loved, I also know that I wasn’t really wanted there.” She left home for the first time when she was 15 to live in a youth shelter, and shortly after was diagnosed with cervical cancer. Doctors pushed a wide variety of pain management pills her way, but it wasn’t until she lost her boyfriend at 19 to a drunk driving accident that she began to abuse opiates. Karena left New York State after that and went to live in Las Vegas for a year and then moved to Florida. It wasn’t until she was 28 that she got clean and two years later she was pregnant.

“When you are experiencing a child growing inside of you, it’s extremely difficult to explain the overwhelming love you feel” says Karena. “I think that we sort of chose each other.” Now, Karena is trying to navigate the challenges of being a single parent, a former addict, and navigating her own mental health while discovering how to create a loving and nurturing environment to raise her son.

(Left) Karena Gordon-Smith attends her weekly therapy session in Irondequoit, N.Y. on Dec. 2, 2023. Karena often goes once or twice a week to therapy, with currently working on making assumptions about other people’s intentions and feelings. “My therapist is amazing” she says. “She just gets me and I feel like I don’t see her as this stuck up therapist but as a real person with a life just like me.” (Right) Karena Gordon-Smith, right, hugs her son Legend, left, while holding her cigarette away from him after he ran up to her to give her a hug goodbye before she left for her therapy appointment on Dec. 2, 2023 in Rochester, N.Y.

Legend has been going to outreach events with his mom since he was a baby and is aware of what his mom does in terms of outreach and peer advocacy. Karena chooses an unconventional way of parenting, with choosing to speak to Legend about the effect that drugs have had on her life. She openly uses marijuana, cigarettes, mental health medication, and is a devout believer in alternative healing methods which include reiki, crystals, and herbal remedies.

(Left) Karena’s level one Reiki certification in her home in Rochester, N.Y. on Dec. 4, 2023. (Middle) Karena rubs the belly of her emotional support animal in her home in Rochester, N.Y. on Dec. 4, 2023. (Right) The coffee table of Karena Gordon-Smith’s roommates on Dec. 2, 2023 in Rochester, N.Y. At the end of each day, Karena will go into her roommates room to smoke cigarettes and marijuana to unwind from the day. She likes doing these activities in a separate room because she doesn’t like her dog or Legend to be around the smoke for their health.

Legend is a very rambunctious child. He has lots of pent-up energy and loves to run around the house and play. He says that we wants to do parkour professionally when he grows up. Most of all, he loves being with his mom. They can often be found cuddling up on the couch together while he squirms around and makes jokes. He loves getting his picture taken, creating art, and wrestling with his uncle. But the most important thing about Legend is that he deeply cares about others. He wants to make sure that people are doing well and like his mom, enjoys taking care of others.

(Top) Legend plays with an action figure on Karena’s bed while waiting for her to put on her makeup in their home in Rochester, N.Y. on Dec. 3, 2023. (Bottom left) Karena Gordon-Smith gives Legend a kiss while they watch Paw-Patrol together on Dec. 2, 2023. Legend often gets immersed in tv and ignores most of what is happening around him, but he never misses the opportunity to cuddle with his mom. (Bottom right) Legend, right, takes a swing at his “Unkie” Kristian, left, while play fighting in their kitchen on Dec. 2, 2023 in Rochester, N.Y. Legend loves playing with his “unkie” more than anyone. He’s the only person who still can throw him around and will fully wrestle him.

Currently, Karena is dealing with a rebellious phase from Legend and is having to utilize her tools more than ever. She tried gentle parenting techniques for years with great success, but as Legend grows and changes, she’s finding it to be difficult to adjust.

Karena Gordon-Smith fights with Legend about brushing his teeth before bed on Dec. 4, 2023. Legend is especially adverse about teeth brushing and will usually whine or put up a fight before each brushing. Karena especially pushes good dental hygiene since she is currently facing the repercussions for not taking care of her teeth. She is in current need of a root canal and is fighting extreme tooth pain, but cannot afford the procedure.

Karena Gordon-Smith, left, smiles down on their son, Legend, after he attempts to talk to a squirrel outside of their house in Rochester, N.Y. on Sunday Dec. 3, 2023. Karena states that Legend has a great fondness for animals and will talk with any animal that he sees.